No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize