remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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