At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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