YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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