Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I FOUND THE LEGS
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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