He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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