Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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