so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
