where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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