I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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