I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
