I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
