we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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