Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
