i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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