i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
