nut hugger
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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