Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
