The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize