i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize