we made out on top of his cat.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
