Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
