yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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