just survived the first fart of the relationship.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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