True but thats because hes a fetus.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
