you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
please come you make the beer taste better
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
