I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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