I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
