She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
