Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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