what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
