He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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