like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
