when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
