They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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