i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We're too hungover to prance.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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