i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
