my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
