yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize