does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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