Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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