It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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