Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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