Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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