My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
