You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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