I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
