WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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