I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
