I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
