Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
