so that wasnt chicken after all
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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