Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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