can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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