It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
