I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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