Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
