I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
