don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
