"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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