This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
