I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Me too!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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