wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
