i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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