No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my shit smells like andre
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize