it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize