she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
