Ambien. No doubt about it.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Randomize
