Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
