are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
