Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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