I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
