i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Still dying that you shit outside
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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