I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
