Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
