I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
