Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
